


the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me

by Kingswoman (kingsmanofny)



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alpha!Merlin, Alpha!Roxy - Freeform, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/F, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Multi, Omega!Eggsy, Unresolved Sexual Tension, alpha!Harry, asexual character/s, courting, oblivious!Eggsy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4092847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingsmanofny/pseuds/Kingswoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was no surprise that everyone just assumed Eggsy was just a beta.</p><p>So it was of great surprise to everyone when he presented at the age of 24. In the middle of a meeting. At the Round Table. </p><p>(While he was staring at Harry but we’ll keep that to ourselves)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. Ever. And I typed it up last minute. So don't be afraid to nitpick, and point out any errors.  
> Title from Florence + the Machine - Never Let Me Go.

**Prologue**

It was well known, that an Omega would only go into heat when they were:  
    a)  Of age – that is, when they sexually matured, generally from around ages 15.  
    b)  In an environment that they’ve felt safe in for a while.  
    c)  Relatively happy and in good health.

Unfortunately, Eggsy Unwin:  

    a)  Lived in an abusive household predominately full of betas since he was 10 to 23  
    b)  Left the abusive household predominately full of betas in exchange with living with knot-headed Alphas (not Roxy though, she actually thought with her head, not her knot)  
    c)  Went and got a job that involved getting shot on a regular basis.  
    d)  Didn’t focus during health class  
    e)  Ignored the urge to bare his neck at angry Alphas, preferring to break their nose instead – which really wasn’t that unfortunate, he was doing everyone a favour.

So it was no surprise that everyone just assumed Eggsy was just a male Beta.

So it was of great surprise to everyone when he presented as an Omega at the age of 24. In the middle of a meeting. At the Round Table.

(While he was staring at Harry but we’ll keep that to ourselves)


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Mr Unwin. Were you aware of your secondary gender being that of an Omega?’ she asked.
> 
> ‘...a fuckin’ wot?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely blown away.  
> I received over 100 kudos and subscriptions in less than 24 hours for a measly 200 words. For my first try.  
> My ego is ridiculously inflated now.  
> I'm going to be real honest now.  
> This fic is going to really about how Eggsy deals with you know. A sudden change in his body that he really wasn't expecting.   
> There will be filthy depraved fucking down along the line, at which point I will change the tags. *winks obnoxiously* But for now, slowwwww burn.

**Chapter 1**

Eggsy stared at the glass full of alcohol in front of him as he absentmindedly drummed his fingers in his lap. It was odd, how one sip of the heavy whiskey made him feel so dizzy when he could down a bottle of wine perfectly fine, thank you very much.

A kick from Lancelot made him look up at to the stares of Kingsmen at the table, and his face twisted in apology at Harry’s arched brow.

That splendid strip of finely groomed hair that he had a sudden urge to stroke. But he digresses.

“As Arthur was saying,” Roxy whispered quietly with a pointed sniff, “the new policy that-.” She frowned then sniffed again, before shaking her head and focusing again. “That Kingmen have to undergo weekly appointments with psychologists once a week when off-duty is coming into effect next week. Pay attention, Eggsy.”

After giving a vague nod and grateful smile, he shifted in his seat, and readjusted his tie, before settling down and looking at Harry.

By Gods, was it hard to focus on the meeting today. But to be fair, it had been dragging on forever now.

Eggsy’s eyes glazed over a little as he looked longingly at that damn fine cupid’s bow, those lush lips and those piercing eyes before Merlin, that Scottish twat, cut into his daydreaming.

“Perhaps Galahad would like to explain why the tech department has had to replace no less than eight pairs of glasses, in the past two months.”

Eggsy indignantly squinted at Merlin.

“’cuse me? Look, first off, why don’t you go ‘head and tell all ‘em terrorists to stop aiming at my face first?”

“That only accounts for two of those pairs. Which is incidentally all coming out of your pay check.”

“Why you complainin’ then? Not like you have to pay for it.” No way was he admitting he kept walking into walls when he catches elusive glimpses of Harry in the halls. And Merlin very well knew why when he looked back on the footage, judging by that smirk on his face as his opened his mouth to give a no doubt scathing comeback.

Percival, bless his soul, cut in. ‘Arthur, sir, is this meeting over?’ Once Harry gave his dismissal, everyone else rose to leave.

As Eggsy turned to give one final quick longing glance at Harry, a wave of nausea hit him, and he promptly dropped to the ground like a sack of flour. Breaking his glasses on the way down.

He heard the Kingsmen rush to surround him in alarm, as Roxy demanded to know what was wrong. He opened his mouth to explain but in that very moment, a strange sensation came from his belly, and a surge of arousal crashed over him and all that would come out was a needy moan.

All movement around him froze for a split-second before everyone flew into hysterics. Looking back, it was amusing thinking of how trained secret agents fell apart so easily.

His neck itched, and he found it difficult to swallow, as he took harsh gasping breaths of air.

Hands ran over his body and head, to see what was wrong before they were brushed away by what he knew to be Harry’s. He slowly opened his eyes to look into Harry’s, as Harry’s cool and solid left palm supported the nape of his neck.

It felt all too hot, as if he were roasting away, and that hand was the only thing stopping Eggsy from dying, from going insane.

It _grounded_ him.

The sounds of everyone clamouring about in the background panicking as Merlin called in a medic from the medical department faded into white noise, Kay inspected Eggsy’s glass for poison and Tristan whipped out an honest to god machine gun for heavens knows where while Eggsy felt his mind slowly slipping away, a red haze creeping over his eyes.

He loosened his tie and with shaky hands began to unbutton his shirt. He was going to _die_ from the heat.

But Harry’s firm right hand caught both of his hands, and his mouth was moving, but Eggsy couldn’t hear a single word.

His hands were so cool though. A reprieve from the heat. Eggsy needed _more_.

He slung his kitten-weak arms around his boss, and pulled him into an achingly deep kiss. Harry’s eyes widened, and went to move away, but with a sudden upsurge of strength, Eggsy clenched his iron thighs together around Harry’s waist and flipped them over, perched on Harry’s hips.

He felt a deliciously hard cock underneath and began to roll his hips slowly against it.

Why did Harry smell so good? Like smoke, musk and spice, all rolled together in a masculine scent that made him want to lick Harry’s scent gland, so suckle to so see what it _tasted_ like.

The room fell into a further frenzy at the sight of Galahad molesting Arthur, before a medic came skidding in. Once she took stock of the situation, she fired a well-aimed tranquiliser dart at Eggsy, who instantly went limp.

‘Fuck’, Merlin announced.

A sentiment that everyone in the room agreed on.

 

*

Eggsy woke gradually to shouting voices outside of the infirmary in headquarters. He opened his eyes slowly to an empty room, and fumbled around the sheets to find a remote to hit the nurse call button, before squirming in the unusually damp sheets. The arguing outside ceased, and a nurse came in. Came in, to Eggsy’s alarm in a fucking hazmat suit.

‘Oh my god, I’m dyin’. I’m dyin’, I’m fuckin _contagious_.’ Eggsy groaned. ‘Tell me, Miss, was it anthrax? Goddammit Merlin, I told you that crate didn’t look like it was full of bloody cocaine, fucking hell.’

The nurse waited it out, and let Eggsy rant on for another few minutes, before he calmed down.

‘Mr Unwin. Were you aware of your secondary gender being that of an Omega?’ she asked.

‘...a fuckin’ wot?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading over it now, it doesn't seem like slow burn, with UST, but it will, don't worry.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, Merlin meaningfully points at the sign that Eggsy and Daisy had given Merlin for his birthday – ‘Merlin’s Room’, made carefully with copious amounts of glitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys. I'm speechless. 200kudos for the last chapter? That's too much! Thank you!
> 
> This chapter is more of a filler!
> 
> Thank you for reading~   
> ヽ(；▽；)ノ

“You’ve been out for only a few hours, Mr Unwin. We’ve given you emergency temporary suppressants. Those will fade in an hour or two, so best to explain the most we can now from the evidence we have. It’s dangerous to suppress the first heat during presenting, but we thought it’ll be psychologically for you for us to tell you want is happening to you before you get into a full-fledged three day heat.” A beta doctor, Doctor Reyes said.

Eggsy grunted, a piece of duct tape stuck firmly over his mouth by the nurse after he wouldn’t stop shouting expletives.

He crossed his arms and pouted. It was no point unsticking it from his face, she’d just stick it back on.

He tried.

“This is a very unusual case, you have to understand,” Doctor Reyes said. “I believe the oldest omega to present previous documented was when they were 19. Generally, even if they were in a… difficult environment like yours, their biology would still eventually cause them to present. This is because it is essential for their sexual and physical maturity. It is odd that you seem to suffer no negative side-effects due to your delayed production of omegistrogen.”

He observed Eggsy struggling to say something, and leaned forward to gently peel off the tape. “Calm now?”

He smacked his lips a few times. “Why hasn’t it shown up on any of my blood tests then? The medical team tests our blood every two weeks. And call me Eggsy.”

Reyes thought for a second. “Our tests generally test for the presence of drugs, underlying medical conditions and to keep track of levels of alphosterone to check to make sure that an alpha does not become too aggressive. Betas and Omegas only carry alphosterone in low quantities, and a different test completely is required to test for an Omega. And typically, a test for an Omega is not needed as most normally find out the ... the _usual_ way.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes, “You mean the usual way like how the hump everything they can get their hands on-.” He paled. “Shite.” Shite shite shite shite shiteee. Did he hump Harry in front of everyone? Oh fucking hell, fuck him on a bloody cheese stick - though it’ll seem he’d soon be panting for _that_ too.

The doctor looked at his pale face and wide eyes and correctly inferred what he was thinking about.

He did look at the camera footage.

Patting Eggsy’s hand kindly he said,’ Don’t worry, it’s a completely natural biological reaction to a virile, fertile unmated Alpha in front of you.” He added, “I wouldn’t be quick to assume Arthur didn’t like it either.”

“Are you insane? I essentially humped Harry like a rabid dog!” Eggsy cried out. Nurse Lia held up the duct tape threateningly.

She took manners more seriously than Harry it would seem.

“Well, in – “Reyes consulted a monitor next to the bed. “ In approximately 80 minutes, you’ll be humping everything in sight, so one person will not make a difference. We will be moving you to a soundproof room, full of food and water, which opened only by you - if you’d like. Your blood will be required to open the door.”

“Bit barbaric ain’t it?”

“It’s to test the level of omegistrogen and make sure you aren’t in heat when you leave. Otherwise, do you have a partner you wish to join you?”

Eggsy wanted to so badly say Harry, but instead, after a moment’s hesitation, shook his head.

“Well then, I need a blood sample for that. But first.” He hefted a box onto the bed. “Here you go. All brand new and sterilized.”

Eggsy opened the box.

Normal dildos, self-knotting dildos, dildos of every kind, vibrators, strawberry flavoured, orange flavoured lube filled it.

“Bruv.”

*

Harry stopped watching, and when the crowd of Kingsmen behind him didn’t, he switched the monitors in the control room off.

As the Alphas dejectedly slunk out, Merlin swivelled in his chair and quirked up an arching brow, before leaning over and switching the monitors back on.

The cameras revealed Eggsy taking wobbly steps out to the Medical Ward to the Insolation Room. One of the Beta nurses grasped the back of Eggsy’s back-less hospital gown together while another held the box of sex toys like precious cargo.

“You can’t just turn off the control panel, Harry. This is the Control Room for a reason.”

He took a judgemental sip of tea.

Harry ignored him, as they watched Eggsy enter the Room and before he went to go smoothly switching cameras, Merlin paused.

“Now, although you may be Arthur, you don’t have the clearance to stay and watch anything in that room. So out.”

Harry growled from deep within his chest. “And _you_ do, Merlin?”

“I’m the asexual one, and considering what is about to occur is _very_ sexual and needs monitoring, then yes. Yes I do. And this is my room.” Here, Merlin meaningfully points at the sign that Eggsy and Daisy had given Merlin for his birthday – ‘Merlin’s Room’, made carefully with copious amounts of glitter.

Harry sulkingly left.

*

Eggsy flopped onto the bed and waved the nurses away, who pulled the door shut behind them.

An omega. Who would have thought. Where did it even come from – oh.

“Merlin. I know you’re watching.” He said aloud as he jerked up.

“Yes, Eggsy?”

“Ain’t the beta and omega gene recessive or something?”

“Yes, Eggsy.”

“Ain’t my mum full beta? She got a full blood test or somethin’ because she got a breast cancer scare then a genetic test because she wanted to make sure there was nothin’ heredity that could come up later in Dais and me and she said it said she was a Beta Positive. Innit mean two beta genes or alleles or somethin’?”

He could hear Merlin searching through the archive.

“…yes, Eggsy, it says that on her file.”

“Don’t that mean my dad had the omega gene then?And just because the omega gene ain’t common, ain’t it a little more dominant than the beta?”

“Shite, yes. Eggsy. I’ll be back, press the call button near the door twice for me and once for a nurse. I’ll have a doctor check up on you every 15 minutes.”

*

After laying on the bed for a while, pondering about the revelation that his _father_ was an omega, Eggsy felt uncomfortable. His skin felt too tight for him.

He felt too exposed in the large room, and he tugged the blanket to his chest.

He took stock of the large stack of towels in the corner next to the shower, and the pile of blankets and soft things at the foot of the bed.

Wrapping the blanket he held in his hands tightly around himself like a shawl, he slid of the bed, and proceeded to shove the king sized bed closer to the wall, and with a massive surge of strength and strategising, flipped it onto its side, forming a wall and a small space.

He carefully arranged all of the blankets, towels and soft silky pillows into a circle, with several blankets underneath for cushion, and set the box of toys in the corner.

After dragging the tele closer – just in case he got bored, and a tray of fruits and water, he snuggled into his nest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes  
> Alpha female: Mainly alphosterone, can get others (to Alpha (very hard), to beta (normal), to omega(easy)) pregnant / can get pregnant, but very difficult.  
> Alpha male: Mainly alphosterone, can get others pregnant (Alpha (very hard), beta (normal), omega(easy)).  
> Beta female: Low levels of alphosterone and omegistrogen, can get pregnant (from Alpha (easy), from beta (normal), from omega(hard))  
> Beta male: Low levels of alphosterone and omegistrogen, can can get others pregnant (to Alpha (very hard), to beta (normal), to omega(easy)).  
> Omega female: Low levels of alphosterone and high levels omegistrogen, can can get pregnant (from Alpha (easy), from beta (normal), from omega(hard))  
> Omega male: Low levels of alphosterone and high levels omegistrogen, can can get (from Alpha (easy), from beta (normal), from omega(hard) pregnant /can get others pregnant, but very difficult.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he pushed in his index finger slowly, he gave out a pleased groan. He twisted that finger, searching for that faithful gland that had treated him well for the past few years and – oh yeah, there we go.  
> “Fuckkk, that’s fucking fantastic. Hngh.”  
> (Eggsy put that down in the Pros of Being an Omega box.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely not betaed. Please please tell me if there is any mistakes. It's 3am and I'm tired.  
> Thank you for the support, comments and kudos!

Michelle groaned. She had just gotten Daisy settled down, and the bloody phone decided to start ringing.

Daisy gave the phone an affronted look, screwed up her face and began to bawl, big fat tears running down.

“’gee!” And the floodgates opened as the baby began to scream for her brother again.

Michelle pulled her up onto her lap, bouncing Daisy lightly in her arms as she answered the phone.

“You better have a damn good reason to be calling at this late hour.” She hissed into the receiver. “What do you – oh Daisy baby, don’t do that!”

She gently pulled JB’s tail out of the baby’s firm hand.

JB gave Daisy an offended and reproachful look, before with a huff, leaned forward and gave Daisy’s face a through tongue-bath.

Though Michelle gave a grimace of disgust, Daisy’s cries ceased, and she tumbled out of Michelle’s arms to fall onto JB with a cheerful squeal.

She looked to the heavens in a silent farewell to bedtime and hello to a cranky baby later.

Merlin cleared his throat.

“The matter we must discuss is rather sensitive. Do I have permission to send Harry to come in and talk to you directly?”

“Is Eggsy alright? He’s not hurt or anythin’?” She grew worried.

“He’s not hurt. He’s just – just gone into heat.”

*

Harry Hart sat in Michelle’s kitchen, as she twisted her fingers together.

“I wouldn’t have thought that he would present as an Omega….” She sighed, and took a sip of tea. “When he turned 18, I had just assumed that he had turned out like me.”

“So Lee, was he an Omega?”

“In a way.” At Harry’s confused look, she explained.

“He was… he described it as gender-queer. Being known as a Beta was easier – it was the middle ground, so it wasn’t unusual to be more alpha one day, beta the next and omegan the other. His uncle, a doctor, marked that he was a Beta on his Registration Day, so that’s what’s on his record. I always knew – he was upfront ‘bout it from the start. We were in love though. Our secondary genders didn’t matter to us.”

“Eggsy must have been quite a surprise then.”

“Understatement there if you ask me.”

*

Eggsy rolled over onto his back. Bored.

Good Gods, porn never showed _this_ part of a heat.

He laid in the nest, sucking at a cherry pit, when he felt a wet gush between his thighs. Eggsy spit the pit out onto the fruit tray and stared at the part of his legs.

He had long past pulled off the hospital gown, and reached down to touch his hole.

He wasn’t an idiot, he knew what it was. He gathered the slick onto his fingers curiously, and brought his hand up to have a look.

Clear, thick and slippery. It felt like the lube in the box. The question was whether it tasted like the lube in the box too.

With a shrug - there was nothing else better to do-, he gave the tip of a finger a kitten-lick.

Tasted like musk and…salt. He had no idea what the fuss was about an omega’s slick was about.

Intrigued, he reached down to touch his hole. He wanted to know how everything felt before he turned into a blubbering mess.

Was it just Eggsy, or was it getting real hot in here?

Ignoring the slick, it felt more puffy and more sensitive than usual. Tracing a finger around the rim felt fucking amazing.

As he pushed in his index finger slowly, he gave out a pleased groan. He twisted that finger, searching for that faithful gland that had treated him well for the past few years and – oh yeah, there we go.

“Fuckkk, that’s fucking fantastic. Hngh.”

(Eggsy put that down in the Pros of Being an Omega box.)

He felt a need to add another finger, and who was he to deny himself?

In fact, why not add two more fingers, “Ohhhh fuck yes, fuck yes,” and what a bloody great idea that was.

He commended himself for that, and his eyes got caught on the box of sex toys next to him. “Sweet Lord, get in me right now baby.”

As he pumped three fingers into himself, tugging and scissoring, his other hand reached for a vibe. The first one he grabbed was short, but thick and covered in realistic veins and yeah, he can work with that.

He was definitely in heat right now. Never before had he ever felt so aroused.

He pulled out his fingers with a needy moan, and set the head of the vibrator at his entrance. He pushed, and it smoothly slid in, right to the hilt.

Gasping at the rush of endorphins and pleasure, Eggsy’s eyes rolled back. Grasping at the base of the vibrator, Eggsy pulled it out by an inch, before slamming back into his core. Fucking himself on the vibrator, he switched it on.

Eggsy tossed his head back and a constant litany of moans and whines filled the room.

The amount of slick increased, and the filthy sounds of the vibrator slamming in and out of Eggsy could be easily heard.

A thrust glanced off Eggsy’s prostrate, and he screamed, curling together at the almost violent orgasm that ripped through his body.

He flicked the other switch on the vibrator, and the artificial knot expanded. Eggsy gave cry at the stretch and he tried to pull it out, but when he moved to do so, the knot pressed against his prostrate

Shaking and trembling after, Eggsy stared in disbelief at his still erect cock. How was he still _hard_?

*

Doctor Reyes watched through the monitor as a naked Eggsy bundled in blankets wailed fitfully into the pint of ice-cream a pitying nurse had sent through the dumbwaiter.

He could only see parts of Eggsy from the camera view – the rest was behind the wall Eggsy had constructed.

Nurse Lia came in, and pulled the hazmat suit off. She frowned at the screen.

“Is he watching Mr and Mrs Smith?”

Reyes silently increased the volume.

“- two really-y good spies”

Eggsy flew into tearful hysterics.

“-all they want is to be togetherrr. All _I_ want is for _us_ to be togeth-”

Reyes silently decreased the volume.

Lia stared speculatively at the screen.

“Do you think it’s too late for me to change my bet in the pool?”

*

Eggsy felt completely rung out. He went through phases of lucidity, emotional mood swings and franticly getting his rocks off.

He’d jerked off, he’d fucked himself on every single fucking dildo and vibrator there was in the fucking box.

The intense fire he felt under his skin wouldn’t go out, no matter how many times he orgasmed.

Crying frustrated tears, he pulled at his still hard cock.

He was sticky with bodily fluids.

The only time he could breathe was when he used a knotting dildo, but even then, it wasn’t enough.

He wanted more.

He wanted _Harry_.

*

Four days later, a thoroughly miserable Eggsy allowed his finger to be pricked at the exit of the room. The biometrics sensor, beeped, and the door slid open.

He’d tried to open the door several times during the heat, pounding the door and screaming for an Alpha, any Alpha (Harry Harry Harry) to come and help him. Each and every time, the door would refuse to open, the display reading ‘Omegistrogen level is above the required level. Access Denied.’

After a through shower and cleanse once Eggsy was out of the throes of heat, scrubbing off the stale sweat, slick and cum, he was finally able to exit the room.

Doctor Reyes and Nurse Lia stood there waiting for him with a wheelchair, looking at him expectantly.

After complex communication through his eyebrows with Lia, he gave a sigh, and eased his sore body down into the wheelchair.

As he was wheeled down to the medical center, Reyes updated him on the state of the Kingsman HQ.

“Let’s see…I had to treat one of the Ector trainees. Merlin scared him and he bit his tongue clean off.”

Eggsy winced.

“Tristan’s hair caught on fire when a mission ended with an explosion.”

Eggsy laughed, his aching mouth muscles twitching. “No way bruv. How he look now?” His voice was cracked and hoarse.

“Shaved, with a wig. Hmm, the new Prime Minister was elected yesterday. Howard.”

The three shared a scowl. None of them liked him very much.

They entered the medical ward, and there Harry was, waiting for them with his mother, sister and JB.

As Daisy gave a crow of delight, and his mum swept him out of the chair into a hug, with JB prancing and huffing around his feet, Eggsy's eyes were caught by Harry's.

He saw concern, and relief in Harry's eyes, before Harry quietly left the room, unnoticed by the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The details of this particular heat aren't really important. (The later ones are.)
> 
> I think Eggsy dealt with this heat pretty well. Presenting younger, the shock of the sudden arousal and changed in their body would lead to distress no doubt for most omegas, but Eggsy's in his 20's. He's been aroused, he's had fun with his body, he's learned about human anatomy at school. He didn't mean to, but inadvertently, he was prepared for what was going to happen. It was new, but it was in no way particularly shocking about it.
> 
> Also, I tried to make it longer, but it's so hard. My mind just full on blanked, I'm so sorry.


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I watched my mum give birth to Daisy. No thanks. Much as I love babies, not a fan of the pregnant side of things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Schoolwork swamped me, and is still swamping me. I feareth I will nev'r crawleth out of the abyss that is schoolw'rk, and math worketh.

A gun holster was unceremoniously shoved into his face when Eggsy turned the corner.

He took it into his hands and peered up questioningly at Harry. Harry tugged awkwardly at his collar, and his face was slightly flushed.

“Is this for me?” At that, Harry gave a jerk of his head, his eyes firmly planted to the space on the left of Eggsy’s ear.

“What’s this for, Harry?” Eggsy glanced down at the holster, marvelling at the smooth dark butter-soft leather, before shrugging off his suit jacket and swinging the holster onto his shoulders, adjusting the buckles and straps. “My birthday ain’t till June.”

“You lost your old one in Olso.” And still not looking Eggsy in the eye, Harry hurried off.

“Thanks, Harry!” Eggsy called after him, staring after Harry.

Bespoke suits lived up to their name – Harry’s arse was a testament to that.

“Hate ta see you go, love to see you leave.” He whispered.

*

Merlin looked up from his clipboard as Eggsy entered the control room.

“Ever heard of knocking?” he sighed, watching Eggsy throw himself into a chair and waving at Doctor Reyes.

Eggsy shrugged. “Nah. Whatcha got for me?”

Merlin swatted the hand that came up to fiddle with a control. “No, Eggsy.” He admonished. “Mine.”

“You have to go through training again.”

“You’ve got to be takin’ the piss!” Eggsy sat up. No fucking way was he going through months of that crap again.

Merlin seemed to be a fucking mindreader, because he said, “We’re just testing the physical aspects, and that will take only a few days.”

Placated, Eggsy leaned back a little again. “But _why_? And why now? It’s been a month already.”

Reyes took that as his cue. “We had to wait at least three weeks for your body to finish processing all of the changes first. You would have experienced a bit of a balance disparity and you’ve grown slightly taller as well.” He paused in contemplation. “Your trousers probably are a bit tight now too, aren’t they?”

Eggsy slowly nodded with trepidation and embarassment. These past mornings, he’d had to let out his trousers a little to be able to tug them over his hips. He would have to go of another fitting for new trousers.

“Your hips will have widened, in preparation for potential childbirth.” At that Eggsy squirmed.

“I watched my mum give birth to Daisy. No thanks. Much as I love babies, not a fan of the pregnant side of things.”

“Luckily for us, the candidates for Bedivere are going through their hand to hand training this week in Gymnasium 3. I’ll be able to keep an eye on them and you. Nurse Lia will be there to record stats and results.” Eggsy gave a shudder when he heard ‘Nurse Lia’. That nurse had it out for him.

“Tomorrow, we’re starting out at 0700. Dismissed.”

Grumbling, Eggsy shuffled out, with his hands buried into his pockets, but after Reyes threatened to sic Leo – a vicious chiropractor- onto him, he straightened his back guiltily instantly.

*

Perky and alert, Eggsy burst into laughter at the expressions on the recruits. It had only been a year since he was in their position, and he had already forgot how sleep deprived you got when you were in training.

(Eggsy was in a great mood. On his way here, he had been waylaid by Harry, who had pulled him into his office to be stuffed full with a full English breakfast and tea. He’d spent the past half hour shovelling the contents of the plate into his mouth and preening at the attention Harry was showering onto him.)

The recruits didn’t take too well at being laughed at, and most scowled at Eggsy.

One young Alpha – The Charlie Hesketh of the group Eggsy deduced– sneered at Eggsy, dragging her eyes up and down mockingly Eggsy’s sweatpants-clad body.

“Who are you? Training started two weeks ago. Standards have really fallen now haven’t they?” She pointedly sniffed, and at her prompting, several of the other boys and girls quickly expressed their opinion through loud exclamations of agreement and jeers. “I think I saw you peddling your goods at a corner the other day.”

Eggsy quirked up an eyebrow. “You do look like you to pay someone to fuck ya. Maybe it’ll get that massive stick outta your arse too.” He shot back.

At the moment, Nurse Lia banged into the room, cutting off Hesketh 2.0 while Merlin and Douglas – a combat trainer – followed at a slower pace.

Merlin eyed the line-up of trainees. “Good, you’re all here. Mister Douglas here will be teaching you hand to hand fighting today. He’s the best of his field and you all will do well to listen to him.”

“And Bradbury?” Here Hesketh 2.0 stood straighter.

“It would do you well to not antagonise Agent Galahad. He does have one of the highest kill rates in the entire organisation.”

Huh. Merlin seems to be counting the few thousand people whose heads he had asked Merlin to explode on V-day. That does seem to be a tad untruthful since he didn’t press the button, figuratively and literally.

But then again Eggsy had also (accidently, but not undesirably) exploded the headquarters of a crime syndicate or six the other month. That racked up several hundred people from each syndicate on his kill list, but it had also racked up the eyebrows of the Knights. Roxy had laughed and shook her head when she learned of his pyromaniac tendencies. Generally, Kingsman operated more covertly and selected key, instrumental people in groups to…remove.

So while he didn’t have the highest kill _count_ , he did has the highest kill rate.

Nurse Lia smacked his arse with a clipboard to drag him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to the slack-jawed recruits staring at him in disbelief. A pale Bradbury looked at Eggsy mortified. With Lia’s firm hand he was pulled over to a padded corner of the gym.

Lia took notes on his resting state, and helped him stretch out. He didn’t want to be up and running yet since he’d just eaten with Harry. Once Lia had learnt of that, she had merely looked at him knowingly through her kohl-rimmed eyes.

After 15 minutes, Lia asked curiously if he will still as flexible as he was in his teenaged years. “It’ll be interesting to see whether the widening of your hips and other body changes will have changed this.”

Eggsy stood up and lifted one leg high up behind him with his right hand and stretched his left hand outwards, so that his legs were fully 180 degrees apart. “Dancer’s split.” He smugly told her.

He then proceeded to perform a series of complex stretches, each getting more and more ridiculous.

Once he held each pose for ten seconds, Lia gave a round of applause.

His final pose on the floor was then ruined when Roxy emerged out of nowhere and pounced, grabbed his left thigh and pushed it till his foot was touching the floor above his head while keeping his other thigh flat on the mat. Tristan popped out of the woodwork as well and gave a long wolf-whistle at the position he was in.

He whined and pulled at Roxy. Roxy held firm and steady. “Rox, what’s this for?” Sniggering, Tristan hovered over him with a hand carefully angling his glasses. Roxanne moved her head out of the way, so the only thing in view of Tristan’s glasses was Galahad, and Lancelot’s hands.

“Galahad, look right into my eyes.” Tristan instructed. Confused, Eggsy did as he was told, and watched as Tristan then tapped the side of the glasses, making a flash go off.

“Bruv, didja just take a photo of me?” Eggsy was so lost. He looked over at Lia who shrugged. She wasn’t intervening since Eggsy wasn’t being harmed. Tristan’s eyes focused on the image the glasses were showing him, before he gave a satisfied nod. At the signal, Roxy let go of his thighs, and he slowly brought his thigh back down.

“Well, it’s actually easier to do the stretches now, new hips and all,” he told the nurse. “And what was that for?” he accused Roxy indignantly.

“Quiet down over there!” Douglas yelled from across the room where he had Thomas pinned down onto the floor with a foot. The rest of the trainees looked away when they turned to face them, finding their comrade’s predicament very interesting.

“Sorry!” They called back sheepishly.

*

In his office, Harry received a notification through his glasses. Curious, as Tristan rarely sent him messages, he flicked his eyes sharply to open the message as he brought up a glass of whiskey for a sip.

If the office wasn’t soundproof, a passer-by would’ve been able to hear the sound of shattering glass and a coughing Arthur as the image of Eggsy, flushed and beautiful lying on a mat in a show of remarkable flexibility and his wide seeking blue eyes staring up seared into the retinas of Harry’s eyes.

*

“What are you guys doing here anyway?” Eggsy asked.

“Merlin,” here, Roxy indicated with a sharp jerk of her chin at the man observing the trainees, “asked us to test your hand to hand skills, and to help you adapt of any changes.”

“Oh, fair ‘nough” Eggsy shrugged, as Tristan pulled him up, and Nurse Lia slapped some sensor stickers on points of his body, that she calibrated onto her clipboard tablet to track his body.

“Just take off your shoes, Tristan. I can see you wearing The Sharpest Pair and I ain’t risking bein’ nicked by one of ‘em.” The effects of the neurotoxin on Gazelle still made him shudder, not having that near him in a fight, thanks very much, ta.

As Tristan toed of his shoes, Eggsy and Roxy went over the rules. To be field ready, Eggsy had to be able to perform as well as the worst winning score on his record. Which was meant that he had to be able to take down at least eleven opponents, before he lost. Since there was only Rox and Tristan, he just had to take them down in a total of eleven times. Taking someone down, they had to have been down on the floor for at least five seconds or with Eggsy on one of their vitals.

“Isn’t this a little unfair?”

“Fighting isn’t fair in the field, Eggsy, you know that.” And at that Roxy took a swing at Eggsy’s gut and Tristan grabbed him from behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see Nurse Lia as being a little like April Ludgate-Dwyer from Parks and Recs.  
> Please leave me a comment if there are any grammar mistakes. I'm too tired to check.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much more obvious could he get, without painting his arse bright red and presenting it to Eggsy like a horny male baboon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay in updating! Just give me around three months for me to start updating properly please!  
> I have my end of year exams coming up [Southern Hemisphere represent] and against my sanity it's covering everything from the start of the school year.  
> Thank you so much for all the reviews and kudos!  
> Please tell me if there's any typos! I haven't betaed this at all.

Eggsy slammed his head back against Tristan’s, who jerked his head away to prevent his nose from being smashed, while he caught Roxy’s fist against his forearm and kicking her chest to push her away. Gripping Tristan’s arm from around his waist, he flipped him over his shoulder and pounded him to the ground with a loud groan. Catching movement out of the corner of his eye, he ducked, as he firmly shoved his foot on Tristan’s trachea and grappled with Roxy’s leg.

Tristan thumped the floor with his hand in surrender, and Eggsy pulled his foot away, before Roxy tackled him to the floor.

“One to me, luv,’ Eggsy grinned, before doing a neat flip backwards away from her.

 

Nurse Lia silently handed an icepack for Eggsy to hold against his cheek, as he all but skipped around Roxy and Tristan who scowled at him from the floor.

At this point, all the trainees had long past already finished their session, but had huddled against the far wall, watching them, though Eggsy largely ignored them.

“Bruv, I know you guys went easier on me, but that was pathetic,’ He sung out gleefully.

“Eggsy, where did you learn to do all that?” Roxy asked, pouting. “You fought differently than you normally do. We weren’t expecting that.”

“Eh, you two adapted well ‘nough. I have your habits memorised anyway,” Here, he cheekily tapped the side of his head. “ You guys are predictable now.” Roxy threw up half-heartedly two fingers at him.

Tristan laughed, “I’m old! I don’t even do field work that often anymore!”

“Excuses!” Eggsy and Roxy cut in.

“Predictability has never been a problem anyway. We Kingsmen never come across the same opponents for it to be a concern in the first place. If one agent fails – but 94% success rate remember? – a different agent is sent in.”

Eggsy plopped onto the floor, rolling sideways until his head was cradled on Lancelot’s lap, and his feet was propped up on Tristan’s belly.

“My centre of gravity shifted, or some shit like that, yeah? So I had to change to accommodate for that. Practiced yesterday afternoon.” He paused. “And Harry gave me tips when he saw me in the gym on everyone’s fighting styles and weak points that haven’t been fixed this morning. I did wonder why he did. That might’ve been it. Good man.” He hummed thoughtfully, ignoring the squawks of outrage from the two, and the snort from Lia.

‘I would like to see that man thrown off a cliff.” Tristan grumbled. “Damned cheat.”

“And _I_ wouldst liketh to have _you_ skinned, whipped, roll'd in a mixture of salt and lemon juice, strapp'd to a limping donkey and releas'd into the Sahara deserteth at midday. But we can’t have everything in life, now, can we?”

As Tristan clutched at his chest like he’d been mortally wounded, while making anguished hurt wails, Roxy laughed.

Nurse Lia coughed. “We still have to complete the rest of the medical evaluation, Galahad. As we are doing all of the standard tests for agents who have suffered an injury or change such as yours, after lunch, we’ll be at the firearm range.”

*

Eggsy all but skipped into Harry’s office, proudly brandishing his final medical evaluation in one hand, and JB’s leash in the other.

Harry looked up and smiled warmly. “Passed the evaluation, have you?” he asked, as JB’s toenails scrabbled on the floorboards, tugging against his leash in his eagerness to reach Harry.

“Were you ever doubting it?” Eggsy shot back, cheekily. He bent down to unclip the leash from JB, who then waddled as fast a pug was able to, around the table, frantically jumping at Harry’s legs.

Harry laughed, as he reached down to haul the dog onto his lap, and scratched gently between his ears, and rubbed his belly vigorously.  JB tensed up, then flopped down bonelessly into Harry’s hands.

“He’s acting as if I’ve been neglecting him, greedy little bastard.” Eggsy affectionately grumbled.  He flopped into the chair in front of the large mahogany desk, and as an afterthought asked “May I have a seat?”

With a roll of his eyes, Harry lifted the hand rubbing JB’s ears to wave it aside, before JB’s petulant whines grab a dog biscuit from the box he had just for agent’s dogs to placate him, petting him slowly.

“How did the tests go? Tea?” At Eggsy’s nod, he reached to the side with his free hand, and poured out some tea, while he listened to Eggsy prattle on.

Eggsy took a sip, and let out an appreciative sigh. “Mmm, what kind of tea is this? Oolong?”

Giving a small smile, Harry nodded. “It is. It’s also called Tieguanyin. I had a feeling you were going to come here after you saw Doctor Reyes, so I had some readied. I thoughted you’d like it.”

He watched Eggsy choke, concerned. “Are you quite all right, my dear?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Except for the fact I’ve been drinking fucking tayguen” -“Tieguanyin” – “tieguanyin tea. Harry, even I know that shit’s seventeen hundred quid per pound. We covered that in the ‘I’m so bloody rich I drink fucking gold and shit fucking diamonds’ part of training! Why would you waste that on me, on a, on a _whim_?”

Harry waited patiently for Eggsy to stop flailing, before reaching over to cover Eggsy’s hand with his. Eggsy’s eyes darted down to where their hands was touching, before looking up into Harry’s intense eyes.

“Because, my dear, you’re fucking worth it all.”

He watched smugly as Eggsy flushed crimson. Perhaps Eggsy would finally notice what Harry was trying to say.

“Aw Harry,” Eggsy said, eying the pot. “That’s got to be an entire pot though.” He sat up excitedly, and pulled his hand away from Harry’s to pull out his phone. “Maybe Merlin or Roxy would like some too? It’ll go cold otherwise.”

Harry closed his eyes briefly and prayed for patience. “Wonderful idea, Eggsy.”

“Really? Oh, and Nurse Lia said that I could head back into the field next week!” Harry discreetly rubbed at his temples with one hand as he listened to Eggsy continued talking.

How much more obvious could he get, without painting his arse bright red and presenting it to Eggsy like a horny male baboon?

“I asked Merlin, and he said I could help out with the candidates until then, I just need your permission.” Eggsy said brightly.

“Anything you want, I’ll give to you.”

“Thanks Harry! You’re the best mentor one would ever wish for.”

Harry wondered if this is what insanity felt like.

*

Eggsy was jolted awake by the doorbell ringing. Bleary-eyed and yawning, Eggsy stumbled out of bed. The doorbell rang again, followed by the pounding at the door.

“Coming, coming!” he yelled at the door, quickly grabbing gun from his dresser, thumbing the safety off. He peered out of the peephole, and only seeing a delivery man, disabled the security system and tucked his hand behind his back.

“A delivery for a Mister Unwin?” the delivery man asked, bored as one could be at 7am on a Sunday morning could be, after Eggsy opened the door.

Clicking the safety off and tucking the gun into his pyjama bottoms, he signed the package off.

He stood blinking tiredly at the retreating beta’s back, before turning to head back into the house.

He didn’t notice the note attached to the ribbon fall off, a gust of wind blowing it away onto the street, nor the fact that the package was from the boutique Pierre Herme, shipped over from Paris that morning, filled with decadent macarons, chocolates, tea and jams.

Seeing how he hadn’t ordered anything recently, he gently placed it in front of his mother’s door and headed back to bed, figuring she has just ordered something under her name. The red ribbon around the box did nothing to help either.

*

The next day, he was already getting ready to leave for the Kingsman headquarters, and was about to go drop Daisy off at day-care. He opened the man to the same man from the previous day, whose finger was posed over the doorbell.

The man straightened up. “A delivery for Mister Unwin?”

“Uh, yeah, wait a mo.” He transferred JB’s leash to the hand holding the sleep Daisy, and set his brief case down to sign off the package.

In a major sense of deja-vu, he was left watching the man hop into his delivery van and speed off.

Shrugging, he stepped inside and placed the box inside of the hallway dresser, before heading out the house, into the Kingsman car waiting.

He forgot about it, of course.

*

“Eggsy?”

He looked up at the sound of his name. “Harry?” he parroted back, questioningly. He clutched his gym bag to his chest, and tugged JB’s leash, to pull the pug closer to him.

“Come in and have a cup of tea with me, before the meeting?”

He entered the room to see a slice of treacle tart waiting for him at the coffee table, as well as a steaming cup of tea.

“A sweet-heart! My favourite.”

“A treacle tart actually, Eggsy.”

“Nah, bruv, Treacle and sweet, heart and tart! It’s what me dad used to say! Sweet-heart!

Fondly, Harry laughed. “Of course, how could I forget! I hope that not any fancy kind of tea now, Harry!”

“I figured that you’d like some normal tea this time round. I found some Twinnings Earl Grey tea that had been wasting away.”

“Ah, yea, love that shit. Hey, remember that outrage a few years back when they changed the recipe for the Earl Grey tea, and there was national outrage?”

“Of course. Merlin was part of the Facebook group that advocated against the change most ardently.”

“’Course he was.”

*

As the rest of the Kingsmen waited for Harry to come, him being waylaid by Rox, Eggsy sat up in his seat suddenly. “I can smell a raspberry. Whose done it?”

“A raspberry?” Kay frowned.

“It was you, Merlin, ya filthy Khyber!” Eggsy crowed.

The Alpha looked affronted at the odd thing he was being accused off. “Eggsy, I don’t use any raspberry scented items.”

The rest of the Kingman shot worried looks at each other, while one quietly commed Doctor Reyes.

“A fart, you twat, someone’s done a raspberry. I can smell a raspberry tart, a fart, a raspberry! What’ve youse been learning at those fancy schools of yours? Use your crusts!”

Roxy and Harry entered the room, and paused at the commotion.

“Rox, have a butcher at these barmpots! Someone’s made a pen of it in here!”

“It does smell a bit in here, Eggsy.” Harry agreed, as he paused next to Eggsy.

“You actually understood that, Arthur?” Kay asked bewildered.

Harry trailed his hand against the back of Eggsy’s neck, until his wrist was against Eggsy’s nape. When he spied the Kingsmen looking knowingly, even the holograms, their eyes laughing at him – except for Merlin who was just typing away at his clipboard, he faltered, but let his touch linger a little more, to allow his scent to remain, before pulling his hand away.

“Let’s just start the meeting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given that Eggsy's considered himself to be a beta for so long, I doubt he's ever considered that someone would be courting him, let alone it being Harry.
> 
> I found all this awesome fanart of gymnast!Eggsy on tumblr by 'aiwa-sensei'.  
> It was like a religious awakening.  
> [This](http://aiwa-sensei.tumblr.com/post/126371721550/i-tried-to-stop-i-cant-100815-9365)  
> [and this](http://aiwa-sensei.tumblr.com/post/126290240500/i-need-to-stop-090815-8365)  
> [and this](http://aiwa-sensei.tumblr.com/post/126213409190/more-bendy-eggsy-080815-7365)  
> [and this](http://aiwa-sensei.tumblr.com/post/126055835905/it-just-sorta-happened-gymnast-eggsy-is-life)  
> [and this](http://aiwa-sensei.tumblr.com/post/126452479025/i-find-these-way-too-fun-to-draw-110815-10365)


End file.
